LETTER FROM A FRIEND: If Only Men Were More Like Women, There Would Be Less Confusion In The World (With A Light Touch)

AND so it is time again for LETTER FROM A FRIEND. In keeping with custom, I shall describe my friend – who also happens to be a relative, by the way – by his initials OOWG.

He is a master of the tongue-in-cheek story…particularly the half-truth, half-fiction variety. This one, he swears, is (mostly) what he witnessed on his latest visit to the barbershop. OOWG reports:

I must narrate to you what I witnessed when I was waiting my turn at the barber shop this last weekend and a guy and his partner walked in. Each took their positions for their appointments.

First, I heard the conversation between the lady and her stylist. It went like this:

Stylist: Yes Madam, so what shall it be today?

Her: Well, please first of all wash the hair. The water should not be too hot. Last time you nearly scalded me. So, make sure it is moderate. And then you should hot comb the hair.  On the right side, the strokes should go from front to back. In the middle, separate the strokes from the middle to the sides. On the left side, please align the direction of the hair with my scar that you see there. After that we will then start the curls.

For the ladies, it is a study in attention to detail

For the ladies, it is a study in attention to detail

Stylist: The curls?
Her: You remember how for my wedding you put on jumbo for me when clearly I had said I wanted a balance? You nearly ruined things for me. So, please use size 4 in  the front and for the back part it has to be size 3 and 2 for every half measure.

Stylist: Don’t worry, I can assure you that after that, you will walk out of here looking really smashing!

Her: No, but I also want a trim. You know: Make it flush at the edges using only the scissors there, then I want four of those staggers culminating in a centrepiece but remember that they have to alternate between free-flowing and edged. So, use only the machine on the outside and a razor only at the top.

Stylist: You mean…

Her: Yes. And take care when you start the darts and flashes after that. On your flyer the picture has two on each side of the head, but I will guide you on how to do the look with three darts and four flashes that I want.

Stylist: I really don’t think that…

Her: Tch! You are complicating things. If we do not get started now, we might not come to the part where I want you to add softening to the flashes!

In the barbershop, many a guy will dose off

In the barbershop, many a guy will dose off

At this point, my attention turned to the conversation which had just started on the other side between the husband and the barberman. In its entirety, it went like this:

Barber: Usual?

He: Uh huh.

THE END

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